26

What have I learned from 26 years of living?

Honestly, not much. Some days I feel like I figured it all out and others I am scratching my head looking around wondering if everyone around me is also just winging it as they go along like me?

I will say though, each year I get older, I grow more comfortable with myself. Little by little, I’m taking life more and less seriously all at the same time. I'm sorting through what actually matters to me vs what I think should matter to me. For example, I'm starting to discover and enjoy my own photographic style, which is exciting and nerve-wracking for me. Is it the right style? What if no one else likes it? Is it too basic? What genre of photography do I even fit into? Who the fuck cares? I’m creating because it brings me deep fulfillment and it’s fun. Obviously, I still care what others think of me- I’m human after all. I don’t know if these self doubts will ever go away, but I'm getting better at soothing them.

The secret is: I think about how I'm going to die. As far as I know, I only have one shot at life, so I should make it count for my sake.

Sometimes I feel scared that time is going by so quickly. Every time I visit my parents, I notice new little wrinkles on their faces. And how crazy is it that my siblings are teenagers now?? I’m starting to think about my loved ones and how I need to take into account that their time on Earth is limited as well. For me, this is the toughest fact to grapple with, but one that I think is necessary to consider.

I have a lot to learn and do in this short life of mine. This year I'm going to try actively practice rejoicing in being 26, instead of hoping to be in my 30s when I imagine having more stability in my life. I'm only 26 once and I'm going to enjoy it to the best of my ability.

I had a great 26th birthday in Mexico. I'm so thankful that I was able to spend it doing what I love most: exploring outside, laughing with my family, and being creative. <3